


Kylo Smiles

by yourgirlmickey



Category: kylux - Fandom
Genre: And Hux is my other baby, But also smutty, But instead it's Kylo Smiles, Depression/Suicide warning, Hurt/confort, I dgaf, Inspired by "Sarah Smiles" by P!ATD, Kinda Fluffy, Kylo Ren is my baby though, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Maybe it moves a bit too fast?, So yeah, UGH I love them, Who needs help, it's all good, modernau, oh well, otp, this is a two parter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-03 03:36:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6594988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourgirlmickey/pseuds/yourgirlmickey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by "Sarah Smiles" by Panic! at the Disco.</p>
<p>Hux has been pushed to the limit.  He has nothing left to live for.  But then Kylo shows up, and somehow that changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> I know I put it in the tags, but I'ma say it again:  
> Depression/suicide trigger warning. It's not like overbearingly dark, but if you're easily triggered, please be careful, okay?
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy this! :)

_I was fine, just a guy living on my own._

Hux didn’t have too much to live for, he decided. He was a manager at Buzzfeed, although it honestly wasn’t all it was cracked up to be if you weren’t super good with people, and to be perfectly honest, Hux was not good with people.

The few friends he did have had all gone their separate ways after college. They were all doing well, too (at least, according to what he saw on Facebook). Phasma was getting married in a month; Mataka’s wife was having a baby any day now; the list of his friends’ happiness and successes seemingly went on and on. 

He managed to get along with the people at work. Poe would wave occasionally. Finn would give him a nod sometimes. But no one ever invited him out for drinks after work (and he knew that they went). 

Hux was lonely. So, so lonely. 

All he had was his cat, whom he loved dearly. When he would come home to his apartment in the evening, she’d be there waiting for him. She’d rub against his legs as he tried to move about the room, stretch out on his lap while he ate dinner and watched TV, and kept the end of the bed warm for him at night. 

She was probably the only one who would miss him. 

Thus, he taped a note to his door that he knew his neighbor was bound to notice in the morning. It said:

**Snoke,**

**Please take care of my cat; I won’t ever be coming back. My key is under the doormat, along with $3,000 for your troubles. I apologize for the sudden inconvenience. You are the only one I trust to care for her, though. Thank you.**

**Sincerely,**

**Hux**

_Waiting for the sky to fall;_

Hux clung to the supporting pole on the bridge, although it was difficult because it was slippery from the rain that was pouring down. 

Car whizzed by on the busy bridge, going about their business as though nothing was wrong. As though another life was not about to remove itself from this world. 

He closed his eyes then and listened to the sound of the rain hitting the water. It was the last sound he would ever hear.

In that moment, he remembered his mother’s smiling face. She had passed away from lung cancer when he was only 11 years old, but he could never forget how her hand would cup his face when he was upset. _”Darling,”_ she would say softly, like the wind whispering as it caressed the branches of trees, _”everything is going to be okay, you’ll see. Just close your eyes and pretend that everything is going to be okay, and it will be.”_

And he found himself doing that now, trying to calm himself as he prepared to let go. He felt his grip on the pole loosen as he began to lean forward, toward the great, crashing waves beneath him that would surely save him from the pain of living. 

_Then you called and changed it all, doll._

“Hey!” someone called from behind him. The voice was a bit deep and young; young like Hux. “Hey, what are you doing?”

And for some reason, Hux actually stopped himself and looked back. 

_Velvet lips and the eyes to pull me in;_

The young man who had called out to him was leaning over the railing of the bridge, a good two feet from Hux.

He had jet-black hair that was down to his shoulders, but was completely soaked and clung to his face in a disorganized manner. His hoodie was soaked and clinging to his long, slender body; his skinny jeans would have been, too, had they not been already. 

It wasn’t this that took Hux’s breath away, though. It was those eyes. They said so much without his mouth even needing to open. So bold and bright, even in the darkness that encompassed both of them, barely illuminated by the headlight of passing cars. It was like looking into his soul, so sincere and deep. 

“Um, what does it, uh, look like?” Hux found himself asking, at a complete loss for an explanation. 

The handsome young man considered this. “It looks like you’re about to make a poor decision,” he suggested, loud enough that Hux could hear him over the pouring rain. 

“Maybe I am,” Hux said, glancing back at the pole he was clinging to.

“That would be a terrible waste,” the man commented, resting his chin in his hand as he continued to lean over the railing. 

Hux shifted uncomfortably as he looked into those eyes. “What do you mean?”

“It would be a waste for a pretty face like yours to be lost,” he explained. Something in his eyes was daring Hux to come back over the railing. “It would be a shame if I didn’t get a taste of those lips.”

Hux blushed despite himself, although the young man probably could not tell in the darkness. Was he _flirting_ with someone who was about to commit suicide. 

“As flattering as that is,” Hux managed to say, “I kind of want to get this over with.”

He received a frown. “Listen. Why don’t you come over here and talk to me? It can’t hurt anything.”

Hux grunted. “It can’t really help though, either.”

“I think that you’d be surprised at what I can do,” he said, and he reached out his hand to Hux. 

_We both know you’d already win._

Hux looked at that hand for a long time. He had been so set on this. He had thought about it for a long time. He had decided.

Why was he having second thoughts?

For some reason, he took that hand.

By the time he was over the railing, he was already being pulled down the walkway on the side of the bridge, going the same way as the passing cars, and coincidentally in the direction of his apartment.

He couldn’t find any words, so he just allowed this stranger to drag him along behind him on the sidewalk, until they reached a small cafe. 

“Why are we here?” Hux asked quietly as they stood in the line.

“To talk,” was the only answer he got. 

When they reached the counter, the Barista asked for their order.

“Two large coffees,” Hux’s knew acquaintance answered. “One with two creams and three sugars, and other...” he looked at Hux for a moment. _”Black?”_ he mouthed. Hux nodded, a little bit surprised that he had guessed correctly. “black, please,” he finished.

In a few moments, the drinks were handed to him, and he passed the one marked “black” to Hux. “Thank you,” Hux mumbled.

They sat down at a booth in the back corner. Thankfully, the cafe was almost empty by this time.

“My name is Kylo Ren,” the man said before taking a sip of his coffee. Finally, an introduction. 

“I’m Hux,” the red-head answered hesitantly. 

“I know this is a rather awkward situation,” Ren admitted, leaning forward slightly. “But I hope we can get past that and really _talk_.” 

Hux found his fingers running along the lid to the coffee cup involuntarily. The smoothness of the plastic and the warmth of the drink inside were soothing. 

“What do you want to talk about?”

Ren leaned back against the cushioned booth behind him. “Well, we could start with why you were going to jump off from a bridge a few minutes ago,” he suggested. 

That made Hux more than slightly uncomfortable. “Well, that’s kind of an easy answer,” he said quietly. 

“Is it?”

“I wanted to kill myself,” he explained, saying it before he could stop himself. “And, to be perfectly honest, I still do.”

Ren frowned at that. “Alright, but why?”

“Why do I want to kill myself?”

“Yeah.”

That actually required some thought. There were a number of reasons, actually. He had never talked about it out loud, though, and he wondered if he could actually communicate the feeling. 

“It’s not easy to explain,” he began. “Or to talk about. But I guess I can give it a go. I’ve been depressed for a while now, no friends. I live alone with my cat and she’s all I have. Aside from her, I have nothing to live for, and... well, she just isn’t enough.” 

He couldn’t look up while he said it; he felt too much guilt. Mostly for admitting that his cat wasn’t enough to make him want to live. 

In his defense, Hux had only gone on for as long as he did because of her, but he could only go along for so long without being pushed past the breaking point. 

“Why not make some friends, then?” Ren asked, taking another sip from his cup. 

His hair was starting to dry, but the rain had made it all crinkly and stringy. 

“I’m not good with people,” Hux replied, feeling rather bitter. 

“You seem fine to me,” Ren admitted. “Maybe you just haven’t found the right people.”

Hux felt his ears go red. “Maybe,” he said, although he wasn’t sure that he believed it. 

“Tell me more about you,” Ren said. “Anything that seems important. Just talk and don’t stop until you have nothing left to say.”

It took him a moment to oblige, but once he started talking, everything just kind of came out. Essentially, he gave Ren his life story, starting with the loss of his mother. Then he talked about his father-the bastard!-and how he had stopped living at home when he was 15. He’d moved in with his aunt, who had been more than happy to have him around. He payed her back by doing most of the house keeping while keeping his grades up in school. They never really talked much, but since she was old and single, knowing he was there made her feel secure sometimes. 

Oh, how she had cried when he left for college. She would miss the cookies he would bake for her on occasion, or the songs he would play on the piano when his nose wasn’t buried in a book. She had asked if he would come back after graduation, and he had promised her he would. But during his third year, he received a call from a grim sounding nurse who told him that his aunt had fallen ill and passed away. He was torn apart by the news.

When he finished college, he had no where to go. He hadn’t spoken to his father in several years and would not dream of it, and his aunt was gone. Instead, he moved far away from where he had gone to college, and even farther away from his hometown. In his new town, he was able to get a job for Buzzfeed and a small apartment, but he was never able to get any friends. 

Things got bad, quickly. He realized that he had no one to talk to; he was alone. He had been alone a lot. He didn’t really do anything outside of work. To most people, he was invisible. 

He assumed that he had depression, although he had never gone to a Doctor to get diagnosed. Things continued to go downhill. He started thinking about suicide. He thought about it for a long time. And then everything became too much. He ended up on a bridge at 9:30pm on a Friday night, ready to jump...

“And then you showed up. I’m not entirely sure why I listened to you, but obviously,” Hux said, gesturing to their surroundings, “I did.”

“And I’m glad,” Ren said. His coffee was probably 3/4 of the way gone by now, while Hux’s was almost entirely full. 

“What about you?” Hux asked, taking a nice long swig now that his drink had gotten a chance to cool down. 

“What about me?” Ren asked, smiling. He knew what Hux meant. 

“I told you about me,” Hux explained anyway. “So tell me about yourself.”

Ren rested his chin in his hand again, much like he had on the bridge. “There isn’t a whole lot to tell,” he said. “I was born and raised here, I’m going to a local music school, and I plan on becoming a concert violinist. I just happened to chance upon you tonight and thought that the world would be better with you in it.”

The words rolled off his tongue effortlessly. He was... _smooth._

“Thank you, but I’m still not entirely sure about that.”

“Maybe you’ll give me a chance to make you believe it,” Ren said, softly. 

Hux was sure that his ears were red again. 

They began to talk about music. Hux knew enough about it. He’d played the piano off and on his entire life, and often listened to classical musical while he worked because it was less distracting than most of the music his coworkers listened to. They spoke of Bach and Schubert and more of the greats. 

When Hux finished his coffee, they both stood up and continued their conversation as they exited the cafe. The moment they made it to an entrance of an ally way, though, Ren pulled him in.

_Mm, you’re original sin._

“What are you-” Hux tried to ask as he was shoved against the wall. He was interrupted when a pair of lips collided with his own. 

Hux had been kissed before, in high school and college, a handful of times. But never like this. Never had a pair of lips made him feel so many things. There was need, passion, and lust, and when Ren licked his lower lip, Hux didn’t hesitate to let him in. Their tongues slipped against each other as if they had kissed like this a million times. Hux let his hands get tangled in Ren’s hair while Ren’s hands slipped around his neck. Their bodies were pressed against each other, no space left in between. 

Never had Hux felt like this, like he needed to be held and kissed. Like he might die if Ren let go. 

By the time they broke apart, they were both panting. 

“I’m giving you a reason to live,” Ren whispered after a moment. 

Hux didn’t know what to say, other than, “Want to come back to my apartment?”

***

Somehow, they ended up at the door to Hux’s apartment, which was on the second floor of the complex. 

Hux stared blankly at the note he’d taped to the door before snatching it off quickly and crumpling it up. He was pretty sure that Ren had read it already, though. 

He proceeded to swoop down and get the key and money envelope from under the door mat. 

The second he unlocked the door, Ren was pulling him inside, pressing desperate kisses against his mouth. 

Hux didn’t even bother turning on the light. He simply closed the door, locked it, and then found Ren’s waist with his hands. 

Without warning, Ren started unbuttoning Hux’s button-down shirt. “Ren,” Hux said into the kiss. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“What do you mean?” Ren asked, pulling away slightly. “You invited me here, so I assumed that this is what you wanted.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Hux said, looking away. “I just don’t want you to sleep with me out of pity...”

“Oh,” Ren said, realization hitting him. “I didn’t even think about that. No, it’s not out of pity, believe me. I want you.”

2 minutes later, their clothes are on the ground, and it’s dark, and Ren is sucking on Hux’s neck. He’s sure it’ll leave a hickey, one people will see if he wears a normal shirt, but he doesn’t care. 

“Where’s your bed?” Ren asked, taking a step back from Hux.

“It’s this way, come on,” Hux answered, taking Ren’s hand in his. 

They walked through the living room and into the short, small hall, past the bathroom, and then into the bedroom. It’s still dark, but enough moonlight is coming in through the bedroom window that they can make each other out fairly well. 

Before Hux knows what’s happening, he’s been pushed down onto the edge of the bed. Kylo sunk down onto the floor in front of him. 

He pushed in between Hux’s pale thighs, and without asking permission, reached out to stroke the red-head’s hard on, which earned him a surprised gasp. 

“Just let go tonight,” Ren whispered. “You don’t have to worry about anything anymore, Hux.”

A moment later, Hux is moaning because Ren has all of him in his mouth, and, damn, he’s good at this. When he looked down, he saw those eyes staring up at him. Those beautiful eyes. 

_You fooled me once with your eyes now, honey._

He let his hand run through Ren’s hair as he bobbed up and down, Hux feeling things that he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

_You fooled me twice, with your lies, and I say_

Ren let Hux’s dick fall out of his mouth a lot sooner than Hux would have liked, but what he said next makes up for it. 

“Do you have any lube?”

Hux scrambled for the drawer of his nightstand, and when he turned around, Kylo was smiling. 

Truly smiling. 

_Kylo smiles like Kylo doesn’t care_

“What is it?” Hux asked, totally flushed. He placed the tube in Ren’s hand.

“You’re so eager and it’s really turning me on,” Ren said before leaning in and kissing the red-head’s lips shortly. 

_He lives in his world so unaware_

“I’m glad I managed to turn you on,” Hux said sarcastically. 

Ren just laughs. 

“Lay down,” he instructed. “On your back.”

“Yes, sir,” Hux replied, sarcastically again. None the less, he did as he’d been asked. 

“Have you ever had sex with a man before?” Ren asked, coating a finger in the lube. He sits down in front of Hux’s open legs.

“Once,” he answered. “But it wasn’t that great.”

“So you haven’t had a cock up your ass properly, yet?”

“...I guess not...”

“Looks like we’ll have to fix that.” 

As he leaned over Hux to press their lips together, he inserted a lube-coated finger. 

_Does he know that my destiny lies with him?_

After Ren has decided that Hux is ready, he lubes up his dick.

_Kylo,_

“Are you ready?” he asked in a whisper. 

_Oh, Kylo_

“Yes,” Hux answered.

And when Ren slid inside of him, for a moment, he was glad that he hadn’t gotten the chance to jump off from that bridge.  
 _Are you saving me?_


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF, also vague smut (I didn't feel in the mood to write detailed smut, I apologize), and a trigger warning (still).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long to finish!! I hope you enjoy it even though this is SO DAMN FLUFFY xD

_Waking up to a kiss and you’re on your way_

Hux woke up to a pair of lips against his own. It was quick and sloppy and rough.

But it was real.

He stared at Kylo, surprised, as he pulled away. The memories from the previous night began to creep back in. 

“K-Kylo,” Hux stuttered. He was suddenly aware of how hot his cheeks were.

“Hux,” Kylo answered, smirking.

As the black-haired man straightened, Hux noticed that he was fully dressed and his hair looked damp (did he use the shower? Must have.). 

“Are you leaving?” Hux heard himself ask. He tried to keep the dread out of his voice.

_I really hoped that you would stay._

Kylo’s smirk faltered, but only for a moment. “Yeah, I have a job to get to.”

“Oh,” was all Hux was able to manage. 

There were a lot of things Hux wanted to ask, he realized. What is our relationship? What did all of that mean? What’s going to happen? Will I see you again? But he couldn’t get the words out. 

“I put my number in your phone,” Kylo explained as he put his shoes on. “And I already have yours.”

“Oh?” that was still the only thing he could get out of his damned mouth.

“Mhm. I’ll text you in a little while, probably. And I’ll come back later, probably late afternoon.”

“You’re going to come back?” Hux asked, without trying to hide his relief. 

The smile he got in return was very soft. “Yeah, I’m not leaving you alone. Unless you want me to.”

The blush was back again on the red-head’s cheeks. 

“Well, I’m leaving,” Kylo said. He leaned over and kissed Hux again. “Bye.”

“Bye,” Hux replied, almost breathless. 

And he was gone.

_But you left and went your own way, babe._

Hux pulled the blanket off from himself, stood up, and stretched. When he stood in front of the full length mirror in the bathroom, he saw the hickies that were scattered across his body. 

Maybe he ought to feel ashamed. After all, he had sex with a stranger last night. But he didn’t feel guilty. He actually felt... _good_. 

His shower was interesting because he now had many sore, tender areas on his body. Each one made him shiver, especially when he examined himself in the mirror. 

_I don’t mind, take your time, I got things to do._

Hux wasn’t feeling particularly hungry right now, but when he saw that Millicent’s food bowl was empty he filled it. 

This reminded him of his beloved fur ball, who he had yet to see this morning. 

“Milli?” he called, walking through the apartment. 

When he caught to the living room, he spotted her curled up on the couch, sleeping on one of his jackets. “Oh, Milli,” he whispered, smiling. 

As he picked her up and snuggled their foreheads together, he remembered what he was about to do the night before. It came flooding back in to his mind.

“Millicent,” he whispered, his eyes growing wet, “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

He set her down in his lap and proceeded to stroke her. She purred as she so often did when he would pet her. 

Suddenly, the idea of him leaving her so selfishly, without her knowing it... It seemed horrible, inconceivable. But it made him realize what an awful person he was. The guilt was too much, and he felt himself slipping into that dark, dark place again- 

And his phone buzzed right then. 

Slowly, he picked it up from the arm of the couch. 

He had a text from “Kylo <333″, which almost made him roll his eyes and burst out laughing all at once. 

**Kylo <333: Hey Hux, how’s it going?**

It was so... _strange._ It was as though Kylo Ren had some kind of “Hux is possibly about to hurt himself” radar; after all, he happened to find him on that bridge and now it was as if he had just sensed Hux’s emotions going downhill fast. And Hux wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about that. 

But he answered back right away none the less. 

**Hux: Everything is okay. How are you?**

That first half was a lie- well, sort of a lie. Hearing from Kylo was at least reassuring and calmed him down enough to maintain control over himself. For now, he needed to distract himself until Kylo came back later. 

_Besides sit around and wait for you._

Essentially, that meant turning on the TV and binge-watching whatever show looked good on Netflix while also pulling his knitting basket out from under the coffee table and starting a new project. A black and red scarf made out of baby yarn (so it was very soft!) that practically made itself... 

_Oh, and I hope you do, too._

Kylo continued to text him throughout the day. 

**Kylo <333: I’m alright, but the people here are idiots.**

**Hux: Most people are. My coworkers are as well, believe me.**

**Kylo <333: I’ll bet. Oh, and how is your cat? **

**Hux: She seems pretty happy right now.**

**Kylo <333: I saw her this morning and I couldn’t help but pet her because she’s just so adorable!!!**

**Hux: Thank you, she is a very good cat.**

**Kylo <333: What’s her name?**

**Hux: Millicent.**

**Kylo <333: That’s a really cool name! It sounds like a royal name.**

**Hux: Well, she does act like royalty.**

**Kylo <333: lol **

**Kylo <333: Oh my goddddd **

**Hux: What?**

**Kylo <333: Some old lady just came in and before she could even ask me for help she felt the need to tell me that my haircut looks “gay”. wft??**

**Hux: Is she wrong?**

**Kylo <333: You think my hair looks gay?**

**Hux: Not really, but you’re gay (I assume) so I’m not really sure.**

**Kylo <333: I’m not sure what to say to that.**

**Hux: I’m sorry, did I hurt your feelings? lol**

**Kylo <333: :p**

**Kylo <333: I’m leaving work now. Want me to grab dinner on my way over?**

**Hux: Only if you want to.**

**Kylo <333: Have you eaten today?**

**Hux: A little bit.**

**Kylo <333: Is Chinese take-out okay?**

**Hux: Sure**

**Kylo <333: Any likes/dislikes?**

**Hux: Not really, anything is fine.**

**Kylo <333: Alright. See you soon**

Hux felt himself getting nervous and excited while he waited for Kylo to come over. He had just finished the scarf (because apparently if you spend several hours straight knitting, you’ll finish your project in a day) and two seasons of a TV show, and was now walking around the house and cleaning up anything that could use a bit of tidying up. 

As he was organizing the books on his book shelf, someone knocked on the door. 

“Hux!” a familiar voice called from behind it. “It’s me!”

Hux opened the door and was met with a smiling Kylo Ren whose arms were filled with bags. 

“How much did you get?” Hux asked, stepping away from the door. “There are only two of us.”

“Enough for leftovers,” Kylo answered, walking in as though he owned the place. “I might want some for breakfast in the morning.” 

Those words made Hux’s ears go red. Kylo wasn’t even going to ask if he could spend the night. He was just going to. And for some reason, that sent a shiver down Hux’s spine. 

“Do you want to eat at the table or watch a movie...?” Hux asked casually as Kylo laid the food out on the counter. There were a few containers of sweet and sour chicken, some kind of pasta with veggies in it, and lots of pork fried rice. 

“We could watch a movie if you wan to,” Kylo offered. 

“That’s fine with me.”

They carried the food over to the coffee table in the living room and then sat down on the couch next to each other. Hux turned on the TV. 

“I have Netflix,” he said, looking at Kylo. “What do you want to watch?” 

He was surprised though, because when he looked over at Kylo, he was met with those lovely eyes of his, which were eating him up.

_Fooled me once with those eyes now, honey._

Kylo leaned in and kissed Hux slowly and for a long time. Hux couldn’t help but kissing him back. It was like falling, really. You don’t always accept that you’re falling at first; you might flail mid-air, try to grab onto something. Anything to stop it from happening. But then you realize that you can’t stop falling, and so you accept it. You close your eyes and let yourself fall. 

And Hux was letting himself fall into Kylo Ren. 

“I’ve been waiting all day to do that,” Kylo whispered when they broke apart. 

“Oh?” Hux mumbled, trying to catch his breath. 

“Yeah,” Kylo answered, still in a whisper, and wrapped his arms around Hux’s necks, pressing himself into Hux and laying his head on his shoulder. 

Hux thought that it was strange that even though he was the one who really needed to be held, holding Kylo made him feel even better. 

His stomach felt strange; probably what people called “butterflies”. 

He wanted to say something, though. Something he hadn’t been able to say since they first kissed. Something he still couldn’t say. 

What were they to each other? Where as this going? What was happening? They had only known each other for less than 24 hours. This wasn’t supposed to be right. But somehow, it felt like they’d known each other for a lifetime. 

As Kylo pulled away to kiss him again, he stopped and examined Hux’s face. “Is there something you want to say?” he asked. 

He almost said it. _Almost_. 

“Um, the food’s getting cold.”

Kylo laughed. 

_Fooled me twice with your lies, and I say:_

By some twist of fate, they ended up watching “The Princess Bride”. Neither of them had seen it in a very long time, and although it was cheesy, it was a classic and they found themselves laughing. 

Millicent lay purring between the two of them. 

By the time the movie ended, it wasn’t late enough to go to bed. 

“Want to play Monopoly?” Hux asked. 

Kylo smiled. “Sure.”

_Kylo smiles like Kylo doesn’t care._

It was crazy and too aggressive and Millicent stayed curled up on the couch watching them, silently passing judgement on them, probably. 

Unfortunately for Kylo, Hux was a master at the game and pretty soon, Kylo was out of money and had landed on one of Hux’s properties. He owed $360. 

_He lives in his world, so unaware._

“I guess I win then,” Hux announced, trying to suppress a prideful smile. 

“Wait! Can’t I...pay you in some other way?” Kylo asked. The end of his sentence had been so suggestive that Hux couldn’t fight the blush that crept up on his cheeks. 

“Maybe,” Hux answered. 

“Would a blowjob cover the cost?” Kylo asked, crawling toward Hux slowly. 

“I suppose so,” Hux said, trying not to gulp. His body was starting to feel hot.

“Good.” 

Kylo kissed Hux’s lips lightly when he made it over to him, and he didn’t make it last as long as Hux would have liked. 

He wasted no time in dropping to the growing bulge in Kylo’s pants. He began by massaging it through the fabric first. 

“Wow,” the black haired man said. “This hard for me already?” 

Hux looked away, embarrassed, which made Kylo laugh. 

He proceeded to undo the buckle and pull them down to Hux’s thighs. When Kylo licked his hard on through his boxers, Hux couldn’t help but moan. 

***

An hour later, Kylo was doing Hux in almost every position known to man. 

By the time they were done, they’d both come multiple times. 

“What are we?” Hux asked finally, as they lay on the bed, their sides pressed together. 

“What do you mean?” Kylo asked, turning to look as Hux a little bit. His voice was soft. 

“You know... to each other,” Hux attempted to explain. 

“Oh,” the other man answered, understanding the question. 

_Does he know that my destiny lies with him?_

And Hux realized that Kylo wasn’t really sure what they were to each other, either. 

“Well,” Kylo said, after a moment, “Would you be interested in being my boyfriend?” 

It was like a slap in the face or a punch in the gut, except it wasn’t painful. 

“Your...boyfriend?”

“You don’t have to be if you don’t want to,” Kylo explained, sitting up quickly. 

Hux sat up as well. “It’s not that I don’t want to,” Hux admitted. “But do you realize what you’d be getting in to?”

Even in the faintly lit darkness, Hux could see a smile on Kylo’s face. “Hux,” he whispered, reaching out and caressing his cheek. “Yes, I know.” 

The way he said it... It sounded like he meant it. But he couldn’t possibly understand. 

“Kylo,” Hux said, closing his eyes, trying not to break down. “You don’t understand. I have some serious problems, and with my depression... I slip so easily...” 

Before he had time to register what was happening, Hux was being pulled up against Kylo’s chest. 

“Hux,” Kylo whispered, “I do know. I know exactly what you’re going through and I know exactly how you’re feeling.”

_Kylo_

“How?” Hux asked, his voice breaking. 

The room was silent for a moment.

“Hux, I’m going to tell you something about myself,” Kylo said after a moment. “5 years ago, I attempted suicide.”

Hux pushed himself away so that he could look at Kylo. “What are you talking about?”

Kylo sighed. “I’ve been exactly where you are. I over-dosed on drugs. Someone found me and my stomach was pumped. I went through so much therapy and it was absolute hell, Hux. I know how hard it is.” 

“You...? I... Then you know...?” Hux could hardly speak.

_Oh, Kylo_

“Yes, I know,” Kylo answered, running his fingers through Hux’s hair. “I know how to help you and I know how to understand you and I... I know how to love you.” 

Hux was speechless.

_Love?_

“Are...are you sure you want to be my boyfriend?” Hux asked, barely audible. 

“Yes, I am,” Kylo answered, leaning in and kissing Hux softly. 

“Then I’m yours,” Hux said into the kiss. 

“And I’m not letting you you,” Kylo answered. 

_Are you saving me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this!! If you guys like this and want an epilogue, comment and let me know :) And just so you know, I listened to "Sarah Smiles" by P!ATD so many times while writing this omfg xD Thanks for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> I'll post part two as soon as possible~ Thanks for reading :D


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